Not like this is a personal diary, but I feel like its my only hide out. Well I don’t keep a diary, I think its risky and my pictures are on here, so yeah, I can consequently turn it into that.
Its not like my life isn’t turning out exactly how I want it to be. Its a gradual process and unlike some people would have it, I’m getting ahead which I guess is a blessing. But I know if my resolve was greater I’d be farther now. I just know all struggles are someday blessed, depending on the strength and amount of ones resolve.
You could say I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, bad dream, bad feelings which are completely unrelated. For the dream, pray, I get it, its done, I did. But what about the feelings? Deep feelings of insecurity? Its gotten me bed ridden, literally scared to get up and head to school. I feel there should be more to it than this. I feel like if I had controlled a lot of things earlier on, it’d be different right now. I blame myself, but then should I? Every girl could fall into my shoes. Its simple girl insecurity.
I can’t say I’m done, cause I’ve said that several times already. I’m just so tired. I don’t expect anyone to tell me what to do. Cause no one can, I can’t even fully open up, so how would anyone know. And literally, there’s a big difference between being told what to do and personal realisation of what to do. The latter is definitely more effective. But then, I haven’t realised what to do yet. I have come up with here and there solutions, basically it’s all about running away. But I no longer think that’s the situation, so as for now…. I’m all done, I’m just gonna stay in bed until I find a better solution, then imma let y’all know 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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